Etiquette Of The Blow Off
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We’re all guilty of this: We go out on a single to a few dates with a woman or man, and either we like them and we keep calling, or we aren’t really into it so we blow them off and don’t return their calls.
Sometimes after a first date it can be quite obvious neither person is into it, so nothing more really needs to be said. However, other times, it is quite obvious your date is very into you while you just may not be feeling it. A lot of this uncertainty comes from the fact that people are scared to be honest to begin with. In my article about first dates, I suggested being straight forward about wanting to see the person again, and I stand by that. At the same time, I am also in favor of being honest when it comes to not wanting to see the person again.
A gentleman should always assume their date was “feeling it” and let them know that another date will not be forthcoming if that’s the case. You don’t need to have an awkward conversion in-person, an email will suffice since you still don’t really know this person and it’s not a break-up. Just something that says I enjoyed meeting you (assuming that’s true), but I just don’t feel a connection. That way, yes they might be disappointed, but they won’t drive themselves nuts waiting for you to call, when you know you have no intention of calling.
You might be thinking, why bother? Well for one, it will make you come across as an honest, stand-up kind of guy, and they’ll respect that. They will probably find it refreshing. Second, depending what type of woman or man you’re dealing with, it may save you the eight text or voice messages that you’d get before they realize you’re not calling back.
Read Between The Lines
When you’ve just started dating someone it can be real easy to get mislead. You’re so enamored with this girl that your usual sense of logic disappears, or you’re “Booty Blinded” as it’s often called.
You really don’t know or trust this chick, yet you take everything she says at face value. You may be setting yourself up to be played.
Communication with a new girl can be tricky, no doubt about it. As a chick myself, I’ll be honest and tell you we often don’t say what we mean. It’s like a minefield of words. We really should make some sort of chick translator to help you dudes out.
In an attempt to clear up some of the most commonly confused statements, I’m cluing you in with a little insider girl info. You’re welcome!
“I’ve just got a lot going on right now.”
What she means: “I would rather spend my time doing anything else than spending time with you.”
“He’s just a friend.”
What she means: “I have hooked up with this guy before but it didn’t go anywhere” or another option would be “I am considering hooking up with him in the near future but want to cover my bets and keep you around in the meantime.”
“My friends would bore you/get on your nerves/etc”
What she means: “I don’t want you to meet my friends because either I don’t think you will be around that long or I don’t want them to tell you about the shit I usually pull on guys I date.”
“This just isn’t working for me.”
What she means: “You’re boring the shit out of me.” Or, worst case scenario? “You’re not getting me off.”
Women are not the easiest creatures to try and figure out. You have my complete sympathy when trying to deal with one of us. You would hope that if they are bothering to say something to you, that it really is as simple as the words she is saying. Unfortunately, that might not always be the case.